When I first got out of the shelter for domestic violence, I felt like a stranger in a strange land. I had been instructed to “take better care of myself,” but I didn’t know how. Every self-care behavior, whether it was taking a day off for a fun outing, buying myself a beautiful piece of jewelry, or getting my nails done felt selfish.

Then one day, as I watched my daughter playing with her dolls, the realization hit me: Would I want her to take a day off when she becomes a Mom? Would I want her to buy herself that beautiful blouse she had seen in the store window?

From that day on, I stopped feeling selfish. The question, “Would I want my daughter to do this/have this?” always made it clear. YES, I would want her to love herself and be good to herself as much as she loves and is good to others.


Try it and see for yourself just how great it feels to love our neighbor and ourselves.