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Male Female Relationships Quiz – Part 3

Here is the question from last week:
When a man gives to a woman, her best response is to …
a. not give back, just tell him how grateful she is
b. give back a little while telling him how grateful she is
c. give back as much while telling him how grateful she is
d. give back more, so he’ll know how much his giving meant to her
About 50% of you got it right and many of us got it very wrong. The answer is a, just say thank you. According to Gray, men and women respond differently hormonally to receiving and therefore react differently. When a woman gives to another woman, the recipient usually responds in kind. It feels good for her to give back to her female friend. It makes more estrogen and she becomes more feminine.
This is not the case in a male-female relationship. In Gray’s words, “The more you give, the less he’ll give.” When he gets too much estrogen, it can lead to depression. Meanwhile, he’ll assume you’re giving from your surplus and are therefore happy and content. In general, men don’t like to expend unnecessary energy, as they highly value efficiency.
This not-giving-back will be a hard habit for me to break. Just the other day I received a wonderful compliment on my TEDx talk from someone I admire. After thanking him, instead of just receiving, I immediately complimented him! I have a lot to learn and am excited to integrate these new insights.
OK, here is the question for this week:
It’s better for the relationship if…
a. he talks more than she does
b. she talks more than he does
c. both talk about the same amount
d. how much doesn’t matter, it’s what you talk about
By |April 22nd, 2021|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on Male Female Relationships Quiz – Part 3

Male Female Relationships Quiz – Part 2

Here is the question from last week:
Men will usually respond best to which of the following versions of a request:
a. Could you please take out the trash?
b. Would you please take out the trash?
c. I noticed the trash hasn’t been taken out yet.
d. Please don’t make me take out the trash.
About 50% of the responses I received were correct. The answer is B.
A is obvious. Of course he is physically able to, so this question can put him off. C and D are indirect. Men like a request that is direct. But their favorite kind of request from a woman actually includes another aspect – knowing he is pleasing her. So it’s good to use phrases such as:
  • Would you do me a favor and…?
  • I’d like to go ____________. Will you take me?
  • I’d love it if you would just listen while I share about what happened today.
  • It would feel so good if you would…
Have fun with this!
Here is our question for next week:
When a man gives to a woman, her best response is to …
a. not give back, just tell him how grateful she is
b. give back a little while telling him how grateful she is
c. give back as much while telling him how grateful she is
d. give back more, so he’ll know how much his giving meant to her
By |April 22nd, 2021|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on Male Female Relationships Quiz – Part 2

How Male Female Relationships Really Work – Part 1

As mentioned last week, I’m taking a course from John Gray (the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus author) and having my eyes opened. For this series, I’m sharing some gems from his 28 books and countless lectures.
How Relationships Really Work
Here is the question from last week:
If, while she is talking, he looks distracted, her best response is:
a. Stop talking
b. Ask him why he’s not listening
c. Ask him if he’s thinking
d. Ask him what he’s thinking about
I heard from many of you, but no one got it “right” according to Gray’s extensive research. Answer a could end up with resentments, b will most likely shut him down, for d he may not be able to answer, so c is the best option. It is a simple, non-threatening question. While she is in her heart zone, he is in his head, and her pointing that out can help him refocus.
Here is our question for next week:
Men will usually respond best to which of the following versions of a request:
a. Could you please take out the trash?
b. Would you please take out the trash?
c. I noticed the trash hasn’t been taken out yet.
d. Please don’t make me take out the trash.
Feel free to reply to this email with your best guess!
If you’re interested in a booking a workshop or joining my group coaching on this topic, email me here.
By |April 22nd, 2021|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on How Male Female Relationships Really Work – Part 1

A New Truth about Releasing Anger

For 30 years I’ve coached my readers and audiences to own their power, and not give it away to feeling like a victim. (The Power Pyramid)
Meanwhile, I’ve encouraged you to feel all your mads and sads. (High-Way 4) And even gave anger a new name: Angergy – energy for change.
But lately I’ve seen my anger rise up more often. So when I read John Gray’s statement that “All anger is a form of blame,” I had to take a moment to feel into it. Does ongoing anger require feeling like a victim?
Sure enough, it does. Now if we’re truly Magnificent Manifasters of our own reality, and “We were all doing the best we could at the time with the information we had” (High-Way 6), then where does blame fit in? Does it make sense to blame myself or them for not knowing better?
“But they SHOULD know!” Ah, but they don’t. (High-Way 3) So what is the good of shoulding?
“Blaming requires looking for the reasons
we don’t feel good. That’s wasted effort.
Just choose thoughts that feel good.
Blame never does.”
-Abraham Hicks
On a personal note, I am taking a course from John Gray (the Men are from Mars author) and realizing 1) that I have often blamed men for things they were just doing instinctively, and 2) how men and women are radically different in our coping mechanisms and needs.
I’m so excited about what I’m learning that my upcoming weekly emails will be a series on “8 to Great Meets Gender Differences: How Relationships Really Work.” If you know of someone who would like to improve their relationship or would like to be in one, let them know they can receive the simply startling messages I’ll be sharing by texting 8togreat to 22828.
Then each week, I’ll answer a question from a Relationships Quiz I’ve created. Here is the question I will answer next week:
#22. If, while she is talking, he looks distracted, her best response is:
a. Stop talking
b. Ask him why he’s not listening
c. Ask him if he’s thinking
d. Ask him what he’s thinking about
By |March 31st, 2021|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on A New Truth about Releasing Anger

2 New Truths about Painful Emotions – Part 1

I recently heard author John Gray (the Mars/Venus guy) say that “All painful feelings (mads and sads) are about wanting more.”
The more I reflected on that statement, the more I could see it was true. My sadness about missing my Mom is my desire for more time with her, for wanting to hear her tell her latest joke or sing a song with me. My anger at violence is wanting more respect for those with skin colors or religions different from our own.
That led me to my next Aha: “It’s okay to want more.” Which led back to an 8 to Great teaching, “It’s okay to feel all our sads and mads (because it’s okay to want more).”
I invite you this week to honor your sads and mads as they show up. Rather than denying them, apologizing for them, or taking them out on someone, just acknowledge and embrace them, as you would a child who wants a hug.
By |March 25th, 2021|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on 2 New Truths about Painful Emotions – Part 1

Can You Pass the Sugar Quiz?

It’s almost time… We’ll be back out in public wearing shorts sooner than we know.
So how to release those Covid pounds once and forever?
There are short term answers (count points or calories) and there’s educating yourself to find a program that really works because it addresses the real issue – sugar addiction.
Start by taking the quiz below about how sugar affects us, and then join me Sunday night at 8 Est./7C on my MK Mueller Facebook page for a discussion of That Sugar Film – a powerful documentary starring Hugh Jackman that teaches what health class didn’t. Discover why the “Food Pyramid” we all grew up with is gone, and the exciting news about how to kick sugar addiction in just one week, while enjoying eating real food with no guilt and less gut.
(If you can’t join me Sunday, just reply INTERESTED to this email and I’ll answer all your questions about my upcoming 8-week course.)
The Sugar Quiz
TRUE OR FALSE?
  1. Sugar is 6 times more addictive than cocaine.
  2. High added-sugar foods shut down the hormone that tells us we’re full, which is one of the main reasons we overeat.
  3. Natural sugars in fruits and vegetables are never a problem, only added sugars, yet most people aren’t familiar enough with the new food labels to distinguish between them.
  4. Fruits naturally taste 2-3 times sweeter when you lower your added-sugars level to 20 grams a day. (25 for men)
  5. It takes 3 – 5 days to get off addiction to sugar, and you may feel sluggish on those days due to releasing toxins.
  6. Once you’ve been on a low added-sugar program for a week, you can eat at any restaurant (even fast food) and enjoy delicious foods that fit your new way of eating.
  7. Low fat foods often cause weight gain because they triple and quadruple the amount of added sugars to make up for lost taste.
  8. High added-sugar intake has been linked to depression, joint pain, headaches, fatigue, heart disease, cancer, and Alzheimer’s.
  9. Eating no or low added-sugar foods does not mean giving up sweetness, it just means different foods will taste sweeter.
  10. When you decrease the added sugars in your food choices, the first place you lose weight is in your belly.
The answers are below. If you missed 2 or more, here are 5 options: 1) Watch “That Sugar Film.” 2) Join me Sunday evening for my 30-minute Facebook Live. 3) Purchase “8 to Your IdealWeight” to learn a simple and practical way to end sugar addiction. 4) Join me for my next “8 to Your IdealWeight” small-group online course that begins soon. Reply to this email or text 402-212-3033 for more information. 5) Do nothing.
Remember, spring is just a “short” time away!
(Answer Key: Every statement is true except the first one. Sugar is 8 times more addictive than cocaine.)
By |March 12th, 2021|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on Can You Pass the Sugar Quiz?

The Money Quiz for Middle Incomers

I wish every high school student was taught Personal Finance.
The course could cover how to put together a budget, how surprise credit cards fees can lead to dropping out of college, how to negotiate prices and fees, and the great Einstein quote:
“Compounding is the 8th Wonder of the World.”
For much of my life I avoided money conversations. I proudly announced that I “didn’t care” about money. But money is energy, and, like anything, can be a great blessing. So finally, like a gardener, I learned to grow it.
I learned that one of the great differentiators between the very wealthy and the middle class is the former’s willingness to invest in the stock market and stay there through hard times. But before I contacted my first Financial Advisor, I wanted to understand the basic vocabulary. Now I’m passionate about helping other “beginners” get Stock Market savvy.
Interested? Take the Quiz below:
TRUE OR FALSE?
  1. Equities are the same as stocks.
  2. Large Cap stocks are riskier than Small Cap.
  3. An Adviser gets a percentage of your investment assets.
  4. The S&P 500 is a stock market index that measures the performance of 500 of the largest companies on the stock exchange.
  5. Bonds are less risky than stocks.
  6. Bond values go down as interest rates go up.
  7. Growth stocks are those that are less popular.
  8. Index Funds are not managed, but Mutual Funds are, causing Index Funds to be less expensive to invest in.
  9. The IRA maximum contribution for 2021 is $10,000.
  10. A benchmark is a good way to measure the performance of a stock over time.
The answers are below. If you missed 3 or more of the above, may I recommend a simple and practical guide book on the subject: SMART WOMEN LOVE MONEY by Alice Finn. (Click HERE to order yours from Amazon.) Or just sit down with a good teacher. Either way, don’t wait as long as I did to learn the language.
Own your financial power. You’re worth it.
(Answer Key: 1, 4, 5, 6, 8, 10 are True.)
By |March 10th, 2021|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on The Money Quiz for Middle Incomers

The Morning Rituals of Successful People

I just read My Morning Routine: How Successful People Start Every Day Inspired. The authors studied 300 folks, from the President of MIT to a successful female blogger. I was delighted to discover they are behaviors we coach in our 8 to Your IdealWeight program.

78% of those interviewed get 7.5 to 8 hours of sleep a night.
The average time to go to bed was 10:20 p.m.
The average wake-up time was 6:20 a.m.

FOR BREAKFAST:
53% have fruit
40% have eggs
33% have oatmeal
57% drink water first
29% drink coffee first

78% exercise 5-7 days a week
29% start their day with gratitudes

“The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.”
– John C. Maxwell

By |March 3rd, 2021|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on The Morning Rituals of Successful People

It is Selfish or Self-Loving?

When I first got out of the shelter for domestic violence, I felt like a stranger in a strange land. I had been instructed to “take better care of myself,” but I didn’t know how. Every self-care behavior, whether it was taking a day off for a fun outing, buying myself a beautiful piece of jewelry, or getting my nails done felt selfish.

Then one day, as I watched my daughter playing with her dolls, the realization hit me: Would I want her to take a day off when she becomes a Mom? Would I want her to buy herself that beautiful blouse she had seen in the store window?

From that day on, I stopped feeling selfish. The question, “Would I want my daughter to do this/have this?” always made it clear. YES, I would want her to love herself and be good to herself as much as she loves and is good to others.


Try it and see for yourself just how great it feels to love our neighbor and ourselves.

By |February 24th, 2021|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on It is Selfish or Self-Loving?

Why 2021 Requires Clearing for Clarity

Imagine cooking a glorious dish in one of your favorite pans, but then not quite getting it clean after the meal. Now imagine cooking a new dish in that same soiled pan.

Of course, we would never do that. We’d see the caked-on food and clean it out before reusing the pan. So why aren’t we as sensitive to our need to do regular inner cleansings?

Whether it was a job that ended, a trip that got canceled, or a relationship that withered, hanging onto disappointments is the #1 barrier to this year living up to its potent potential.

This past year was, in many ways excruciatingly difficult. In order for a caterpillar to turn into a butterfly, it must dissolve completely into liquid. By fully letting go of the past, we allow the miracle of what can be to emerge.

Are you ready to release? Find a coach, a counselor or a journal to write in and then burn. If we are truly willing to close the door on what has been and walk away, then when we turn back to look at it, it will be gone.

By |January 21st, 2021|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on Why 2021 Requires Clearing for Clarity

Don’t Let Your Past Seep Into Your Future

I walked onto the pickleball court with my good friend feeling somewhat resigned to what was ahead. This dear woman is rarely on the winning team, but we all love playing with her. She and I were about to take on the two best players in our group. The conclusion seemed foregone.

But then I remembered what my good friend, Rev. Cindy Grimes, had reminded me of just the week before: “Don’t let your past seep into your future.”
I realized this was a perfect example of expecting the same, when I could expect so much better. And that’s what I did.

We were ahead for much of the game, and only lost by a slim margin. It was exciting and reminded me of the power of my expectation.

Where are you expecting the same old same old this year? Was there a time in your life when things took a distinctive turn for the better? It could happen again. Why not expect the unexpected?

We’ve got nothing to lose.
By |January 7th, 2021|Categories: Uncategorized|Comments Off on Don’t Let Your Past Seep Into Your Future
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